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Who is your literary crush?

Office favourites include Dorothea Brooke and PG Wodehouse's Psmith. Which fictional character would you wed?

Gone With the Wind
Southern charmer ... Gone With the Wind. Photograph: Kobal Collection

In Japan they've launched a petition to legalise marriages between humans and cartoon characters. It's actually rather poignant: "For a long time I have only been able to fall in love with two-dimensional people and currently I have someone I really love," writes one signatory. "Even if she is fictional, it is still loving someone. I would like to have legal approval for this system at any cost."

It's gathered more than 1,000 signatures which is pretty impressive but there's some way to go before the cartoons start tripping down the aisle. As the ABC story points out (in a po-faced manner), at the moment "Japan only permits marriage between human men and women", so Jessica Rabbit will have to hold off buying that dress.

But it made me wonder which fictional character I'd marry, legal niceties permitting. As a teenager I'd have plumped for any of the Georgette Heyer heroes (particularly the Earl of Rule), or Jilly Cooper's Rupert Campbell-Black, or Rhett Butler. Before those days I had quite a crush on Gilbert from Anne of Green Gables and Laurie from Little Women. But now, well, I'm currently reading The Crimson Petal and the White and have fallen for Sugar (although reader, I don't think I'd marry her), and Jay Gatsby will always hold a place in my heart.

Around the blogosphere, literary crushes range from Hazel from Watership Down (!) to the Malory Towers girls, and Dune's Paul Atreides. Lots of people seem to have a thing for Mr Darcy – I never got that one, his broodiness always struck me as a little dull - and Aragorn is getting quite a few mentions.

Here in the office, people have come up with Ursula Brangwen from Women in Love, Middlemarch's Dorothea Brooke, Laura from The Blind Assassin and PG Wodehouse's Psmith. And some wit mentioned Lolita. But I'm holding out for D'Artagnan.

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Guys, we did it. We really did it. Last month, in Guess The Plot's debut, I offered up four classic science-fiction covers and asked for LitReactor's help figuring out what the novels inside could possibly be about. And you all didn't just show up, you killed it. Go back and check out the hilarious comment section in that link. Gold, people, hot bubbling gold!

So I'm back, with just one cover this time. One amazing cover. 

Here's How To Play: Come up with a short description of the following book’s plot. This theoretical summary should be the logical extension of the artwork and text on the covers, although wild-ass extrapolation is certainly encouraged. And no checking with Google for plot information, I want pure originality! Then post your work in the comment section below.

And now I present to you...

'Into Plutonian Depths'

Into Plutonian Depths 

Hello Nurse! Our buddy Señor Coblentz is really putting the 'fantasy' in 'Avon Fantasy Novels,' right? From her sassy golden-snake sandals, to that striking pearl/enormous green orb headpiece, this young woman is positively bedecked! No wonder all those dudes are chasing her - they need to know where on Pluto they can get a quality mani-pedi. As for her companion: yawn! It's just sad that Avon would spring for an icon of fashion like Timothy Dalton and then dress him in business casual. At least the editors have seen fit to release Coblentz's masterpiece unabridged, so readers can finally appreciate just how 'faraway' Pluto actually is. Moving on, let's see if we can't break down the 'three sexes' teased in the headline:

1) Former James Bonds. (Is it Jameses Bond? I can never remember.) 

2) Hurdy-Gurdy Girls with impeccable taste and their insatiable, shirtless Fanboys. 

3) Super Horny Stalagmites.


All right, have at it! And make 'em great, because now I have expectations. So make Papa Johnny proud!

[As always, please send me covers for future episodes on Twitter @Kornlock.]

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